We have all heard a million times during our growing up years that God cannot be every where hence he made parents so that through them he can always be with us, guide us and support us. Am sure you would also agree to this point. But what happens when one day one of your parent is no more with you in your life and is actually up in the heavens with god himself.
Even though your parent is unwell from many years, losing them one day is a huge void that gets created in your life. In fact specially when you are an adult yourself being a daughter losing my mother is something that i have not recovered from past six years and shall never ever be. She suffered from Rheumatoid Arthritis for over a decade and finally breathed her last on 17th July 2011.
My mom was both my strength and weakness, she was the only person in this world who understood me in and out. She was my go to person for everything, she was my friend at home and outside as well. She still is the only one who knows all my flaws and weaknesses, i was the most vulnerable also in front of her. She taught me to be self less, she taught me to believe in myself, she taught me to be a good human being and she taught me to fight till the end something which i adored as her best quality.
How has life changed?
- Even after six years , the thought of not having her around, the sadness of not being able to touch, hear, feel her saddens me and i break down. I remember being aloof from everyone for over six months ..i just couldn’t accept that she was gone.
- I never fail to miss a call from home or relatives back at home. The last time i missed calls was the news that my mother was admitted in the ICU few hours after which she passed away and i reached the next day home for the last rituals.
- My mother was the key to the families love and happiness. She was the link between my father, my brother and myself. Not that now all of us are not together but just that she was the confidant of each one of us at home. In fact even for her friends she was their best confidant.
- It was heart breaking to not have my mother around me during my most important life’s decisions and choices. And she would not be there for many more. She would not be there to love my kids in future, she would not be there by my side when i become a parent and so on..big life events would always be incomplete without her.
- I get extremely annoyed when people around me complaint about their parents, i get extremely angry when i see my friends not talking to their parents daily if staying in different cities, i get jealous when i see my girlfriend, even strangers hang out with their mothers, travel and shop and gossip with them. I get sad seeing any mother daughter but the same time it reminds me of how strong a relationship this is and how lucky i have been to cherish those 24 years of my life with her.
- Life will still go on but am sure there would never be a complete stop in me breaking down when i think of her
- Only people who have lost a parent would truly understand the emotion that i go through or we who have lost a parent go through and its comforting at times.
My mother’s death has certainly changed me the way i look at things. Even reading an obituary in the daily newspaper brings a tear in my eye cause i can relate to it, or the scene in a movie when someone dies i can empathize with it for real. I have a bunch of stories about my mother to be told to my kids in future. I want them to grow up respecting and loving the same woman that i do and for them to know that she is their guardian angel now.
This post is dedicated to all the mothers who mould their kids to be a good human being. This post is to empathize with all those who have lost their parent to God. And this post is to every mother-child relation that is the most truest and purest on this earth.